i have just lost my wife /best friend/any advice? ps.EVA CASSIDY IS.

A woman I know was recently diagnosed with an STD, Human Papilloma Virus to be exact. Not that unusual I know. But here's the thing. She's in her late 70s and hasn't been sexually active in over 35 years. It seems that her abusive ex-husband gave her the disease sometime prior to the early 1970s. It lay dormant in her system for all that time, until last year, when she received radiation treatment for breast cancer. The radiation apparently compromised her immune system, and the long dormant HPV took advantage. Her ex-husband died about 6 years ago. But he's managed to reach out from the grave to abuse her yet again.

Betty Friedan has passed away at age 85. A founding mother of modern feminism, she was many things. Warrior, author, philosopher, journalist, homophobe, mother, founding member of NOW and NARAL, conservative, moderate, revolutionary...

I'll no doubt be writing more about Betty Friedan's legacy in the next couple of days. But for now I just want to sit with my feelings of loss. She may not have been able to lead us all the way home, or perhaps even envision our ultimate destination, but she was an amazing force in getting this wave of the march started. May she rest in peace.

Since the topic of this month is Relationships, and I'm going through something that is making it difficult for me to post as often as I should, I decided just to talk about it here. I'm struggling with my relationship to myself. When I became disabled about 15 years ago (can it possibly be that long?!) I spent a lot of time in anger and denial. I tried anything I could to make it not true, or at least find a way to function in spite of it. It didn't work.

I lost my independence, my life on the East Coast, a house full of furniture and belongings and my friends. I'd like to say I weathered it all gracefully, but alas, I did not. Once I had to admit that I couldn't live alone anymore, I shut down completely. I moved in with family, and pretty much slept for about 2 1/2 years or so. Gradually, they invented better medications and I found a little inspiration in something harmless, and gradually started coming back to life.

I've spent the past four years very much aware of the importance of healthcare. If you aren't in that place yet, the odds are that one day you will be. My awareness of the importance of healthcare grows from my personal experiences. If not for the care that I received, I would not be living today. I found this story on the front page of my newspaper this morning and I'd like to share the story, and my concerns, with you.

Americans overpay for low-quality health care, survey finds

WASHINGTON - Americans pay more when they get sick than people in other Western nations and receive more confused, error-prone treatment, according to the largest survey to compare U.S. health care with that of other nations.

This is the richest of my times, this sixth decade. It is so different than any other in so many ways, and so stunningly bare of all of the material securities I spent so many years striving for, collecting up, and trying to protect to carry with me into a "secure retirement."

They're all gone, stripped away by life circumstances over which I had no control. Oh, that was a very hard loss: a very fearful time. Yet it lead me to this, the richest of my times.

My window looks out over treetops that stand guard over an ordinary neighborhood and a high school. On crisp fall mornings, I am delighted by the sounds of the marching band, and the "Hoo Ho Hoos!!" of a football team working out. The energies of these youth reach me up here, feed me, give me hope for us all.