As some of you know, I have been in the process of moving since last July. That s when I put my house in Maine on the market and began to pack. I spent 6 months worrying about whether the house would ever sell, spending money I didn t have to make the house more appealing to prospective buyers, and sorting through all of my stuff, deciding what to keep and what to let go of (literally and metaphorically).

Then one day in early January, I was elated to receive and accept an offer on my house. The joy lasted about 24 hours. Then panic set in. I realized for all the work I had done, I still had so much to do. And more worries. What would the home inspection show? What if the buyer s couldn t get financing? What if something goes wrong at the last minute at closing?

Well, closing is over, the house is officially sold, and I have spent last week driving cross country with two people who couldn t agree on the color of the sky. They bickered. They argued. They gave each other the silent treatment. They complained about each other to me. Constantly. I love both of these people. But they had no love for each other.

Despite the constant fighting and whining and complaining, I did manage to look out the window now and then. I was struck, as I always am, with how beautiful this land is. The steep mountains of the Appalachians in central Pennsylvania. The long stretches of farmland in the Midwest. The grasslands of Oklahoma. I especially love the endlessness of the flat ranchland of the Texas panhandle. The sky is so big, and I find the flatness so calming. Then of course, finally, the beautiful reds and oranges, mountains and mesas of my new home state.

I only wish I was as inspired by the people and culture of mainstream America. But sadly, we are a nation of McTacoMarts, one after another, from sea to shining sea. Consumerica is as constant as the land is varied. And it was odd to realize how many of the states I passed through are hostile to me and everything I believe in. Hostile to me as a pro-choice woman. Hostile to me as a lesbian. Hostile to me as a feminist. Hostile to me as a non-Christian.

It was strange to know that the majority of people in most of these states voted for George Bush, supported the war in Iraq, and think that the fact that I love women is perverted and sinful. Strange to see Bible quotations on billboards across Missouri. Giant crosses along the roadside in Missouri and Oklahoma.

I fantasized about taking the proceeds from my house and buying billboards across Missouri and the other red states, celebrating various Goddesses. Or even buying billboards that said 'There is no God.'? Or maybe quoting some of the Bible passages that many Christians don t like to talk about.

Like this one:

When a man sells his daughter as a slave, she will not be freed at the end of six years as the men are. If she does not please the man who bought her, he may allow her to be bought back again. But he is not allowed to sell her to foreigners, since he is the one who broke the contract with her. And if the slave girl's owner arranges for her to marry his son, he may no longer treat her as a slave girl, but he must treat her as his daughter. If he himself marries her and then takes another wife, he may not reduce her food or clothing or fail to sleep with her as his wife. If he fails in any of these three ways, she may leave as a free woman without making any payment. (Exodus 21:7-11 NLT)

or this:

Anyone who is captured will be run through with a sword. Their little children will be dashed to death right before their eyes. Their homes will be sacked and their wives raped by the attacking hordes. For I will stir up the Medes against Babylon, and no amount of silver or gold will buy them off. The attacking armies will shoot down the young people with arrows. They will have no mercy on helpless babies and will show no compassion for the children. (Isaiah 13:15-18 NLT)

but maybe those are too long for a billboard. Perhaps something shorter:

"The people of Samaria must bear the consequences of their guilt because they rebelled against their God. They will be killed by an invading army, their little ones dashed to death against the ground, their pregnant women ripped open by swords." (Hosea 13:16 NLT)

or

If a man commits adultery with another man's wife, both the man and the woman must be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10 NLT)

But mostly I tried to fantasize about what this nation would be like if we lived up to the best of our human natures. If I could look at those vast stretches of farmland and know that they were not poisoned with pesticides. If I could look at all those McTacoMarts and know that they paid living wages, that their employees had health insurance, that their products were not made by slave labor or cruelty. How I desperately wish I could travel through any state in our nation without fear of harrassment or violence for being who I am and speaking my truth.