since the theme for this month is relationships, i want to talk just a bit about my internet relationship. no i'm not talking about a relationship with someone via the internet. i'm talking about my personal relationship with the internet itself.

i am old enough to remember back when there was no internet. back before email. back when word processors were just beginning to reside on mainframe computers, provided you put in codes like .sk to skip a line. come to think of it, those early word processors were not unlike html is today, with all sorts of arcane codes like b and i.

i never felt the absence of the internet before it came into my life. my life didn't feel at all empty without it. but i was quick to adapt. by the early 90s i was online with prodigy and whatever the name was of the predecessor to prodigy.

but something terrible happened yesterday! something that hasn't happened to me in a long long time. my computer failed! actually, the graphics card failed. and all my old computers are in storage so i had nothing to fall back on. i found myself disconnected from my information circulatory system.

last night, i was unable to post this week's goddess. i had a strong craving for news that could not be satisfied with cable tv or even with newspaper. i worried about my email going unanswered. a friend called, concerned about a reaction she thought she was having to a medication she was on. i couldn't look it up. i needed a new graphics card. but how to shop for one without the internet? no prices at my fingertips. no user reviews. no product comparisons. i woke up this morning, in the shower, wondering what time Best Buy opened, so i could get a new graphics card. it immediately occurred to me to look up the hours on the internet.

i have so thoroughly incorporated the internet in to my life that i am lost without it. it is my primary source for news, information, shopping, and connections to people i care about. it is as integrated into my life as any of the other great accomplishments of technology, like refridgeration and indoor plumbing.

and i have been lost without it. and now, now that i'm back online, now that i can send and receive mail, and read news, and comparison shop, and blog and fritter away hours on arcane research of frivolous topics, i am whole again.

i love the internet. i feel blessed to live in a time when sooo much information is available at my fingertips. i look forward to the day when all of the great works of all of the worlds best libraries and museums are available online. but until then, i'm happy with the simple things the internet gives me. like telling me what time the computer store opens.