I am an ordinary American: an older woman, born into a working class family. I ve raised two children alone, completed a 40 year career in nursing and now have retired into a simple, frugal life as a senior with disabilities. I am enjoying the freedom of having time, at last, or pursue interests such as politics.

After discovering the world of political blogs and CSpan some years back, I turned into a political junkie totally fascinate by all I ve learned. I ve been through all the common stages of reaction, from anger to outrage to determination to fight back however I could, to discouragement, even despair, only to find myself freshly outraged and more determined to fight, around and around and around I ve gone, along with most of the people I know here on the blogs.

I really think life is all about discovering who we really are, then scrambling to keep up with an ever changing self after that: at least that s how it feels to me. So often this is a very long, confusing, and often painful process.

I marvel at how deeply old negative programming can be buried in an endless pile of layers that can only be removed one at a time, the same way they were inserted into our consciousness. I marvel that even after years of digging into those piles, there always seems to be still more layers to discover, then strip away. Can I possible live long enough, I wonder, to get to the bottom of the pile? The most recent piece of proof that layers still exist slapped me up side the head yesterday, shouting , "Ah HA! GOtcha!"

You know who you are.

You, George Bush, with your sick psyche and delusions of grandeur.
You, Powerful Neocons, with your dreams of empire and global domination.
You, Far Right Religious Wingnuts, who make a mockery of faith to gain control over others.
You, Greed Driven Rich, who lurk behind facades of self created 'corporate entities'?
You, The Elected Ones that we chose to serve us, the people, who have sold your souls to the highest bidders in the halls of all branches of Government.

To all of you who choose to shamelessly exploit the vulnerabilities of the people, the Rule of Law, the Constitution, the Bill Of Rights, and the resources of this country, for your own selfish ends, with no concern for the common good or the principles on which this country was founded, I tell you this:

Weeks End - Years End

Well, we did it. Providing we all last through the weekend, we ve all survived another year. In times like these, that, in itself is good reason for Celebration.

2005 was a tough year for caring people. So many suffered so much in natural disasters here and all over the globe. Sadly, much of that suffering could have been prevented or lessened much more than it was and is being lessened. There is no excuse for that. None.

We ve watched, with growing horror, the crumbling of principles we hold dear in a democracy due to abuse of governmental power in the hands of those who seek to serve their own agendas over that of the common good. We are counting our ever mounting number of dead troops and cannot begin to accurately count the number of those we ve killed while supposedly are trying to 'free them from tyranny.'?

Ivy Rose, my grandaughter, 8 months old now, had her very first Christmas last evening. I had a good time watching her reactions, and thinking what she might be saying if she had words...

"Hey! Everybody's here! Cool! Hmmm...so many arms, so little time..."

"What the heck is that TREE doing in here? Don't trees live outside? And all those pretty lights! Awesome, man!"

(sitting with a wrapped gift in her lap, she trying to fit the whole thing in her mouth..) "Now how am I supposed to eat THIS?! Oh wait..look, they WANT me to tear it apart! OK! Cool!" (setting to work)

"Sheesh, I worked ten minutes to get that one shiny piece off and they STILL won't let me eat it! These people are crazy."

I prefer to write uplifting words for these week end diaries, but this is not so easy do do after reading Tanyas words, as posted by Moiv below. Or after reading even more daily evidence of how all our freedoms are being diluted and removed by the egomaniacs who have taken over the controls.

I grow weary of having my hopes raised, again and again, that surely "this piece..or that piece"..of proof will take down the bastards, only to see it swept under yet another lumpy rug that far too many prefer to ignore.

So what to do? How to keep from being shoved so low by what's happening, that the shine goes out of life?